Sub. =]

So there's a sub in french class today...it's third period, 10:05 A.M. and I am so, totally ecstatic.  We're just doing work my teacher assigned us, and I don't really feel like doing it.  Uhm, so not much has really been happening, I guess.  Practice last night was as usual.  Except Caylin wasn't there.  I saw her while heading to first period this morning, and I asked her where she was.  Se just had a lot of work to do and her parents were tied up with doing things and her back was hurting, but she'll be in class tonight.  Ugh, pointe tonight.  My feet have not yet gotten used to my pointe shoes after going a whole summer with not even putting them on once.  It kills like a bitch, but I do love it, I really do.  It's so pretty to watch if you're a spectator and if you're dancing, it kind of just makes it all the more better.  So anyways, I'm just sitting here, listening to my iPod...there's not much to do when you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing, I guess.

I'm looking over at my friend's screen and it seems that she's setting up a blogger account right now as I type.  That should be fun to chat about later.  I'm not gonna say anything now...1. because it's totally silent and I wouldn't wanna do anything to disturb that AND the sub over that the desk looks like she'd bite my head off if I sneezed or anything.  and 2. I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention and she's all the way on the other side of the room [[oh, what a big room it is..."/]]  But yeah, wow, Rhythm As A Dancer just came on my iPod...good times.  That was like, what, five years ago, already?  Shit, time goes so fast at Metro, it's ridiculous.  I can still remember my first day.  But I don't think I have the time to go into that right now.  I have to be pretending like I'm being a good, little student and doing my work.  Pshhh, yeah right. =]

I found this amazing band on Frostwire the other day, if that's any interest to anyone...they're called the Vitamin String Quartet and they basically take any popular group/band/solo artist's songs and turn them into violin pieces.  They're really incredible, I have to say...Rebecca tipped me off about them and I've just been downloading they're albums illegally for hours and hours.  Hahah  I know, how does that sound?  But yeah, they're arrangements are the songs exactly, but no vocals and very little input from other instruments other than violins and cellos and I've been listening to it ever since I downloaded them all.

Hmm...what else...class ends at 10:35 and it's still only 10:20.  Time is going by so slowly today.  It's probably the rain.  Ugh, my god, I had to walk to school this morning in it, it was horrible.  My jeans got totally, completely drenched from like my calf, down.  And yes, I did have an umbrella.  But hey, wanna hear a funny story?  Ok, so you know those people you may sometimes see walking down a street on a rainy day with their umbrella and it's really REALLY windy?  And you know how at some off chance of utter bad luck and huge gust of wind blows directly at them and completely turns their umbrella inside-out?  Yeah, well that was me walking to school and it happened TWICE.  My god, I just wish I could drive.  I'm in drivers ed. now, but still, my birthday's in April and then I only get my permit.  I don't get my license until April of senior year.  But hey, it's something I guess, right?  But yeah, it was just wonderful timing.  And  I'm one of the kids who [[thank god]] lives only about a block away from the school so it's like a 10 minute walk downhill for me, but I'm also, unfortunately, one of the kids who's older 24-year-old brother leaves the house at 6:30 every morning to go to the Bronx and teach little fifth graders and who's dad goes to Florida with his friend to help with a house down there and shuffle furniture back and forth for 10 days...TOTALLY love my luck.

So class is over in 10 minutes and I don't know what else to talk about.  We have 2 days off [[Tuesday and Wednesday]] for a Jewish holiday that I do know the name of, but will not try my luck to spell because I will most likely get it wrong.  So that's some good news.  I still might have my history test on Monday though but apparently we have an assembly that day, that period, so my teacher told us to be prepared for it.  I hope it's not on Monday.  I don't even know what the hell is going on the that class, it's ridiculous.  And my teacher is fucking crazy-eccentric.  It was funny at first but now it's a little much.  She always NEEDS coffee in the morning to function although I personally think that she could just get by on her annoying burst of peppiness that she denies she actually has every morning.

Now class is over in 5 minutes so I'm thinking I might wrap this up and just sit and listen to my iPod for the remainder of time.  Yeah...that's it for now.  Maybe I'll comment some more today if anything else worth telling happens.

&

This is THE BEST Twilight picture I have ever seen...I'm kind of in love with it.  See what I'm talking about when I describe this as a completely unhealthy obsession?  Yeah, I wasn't kidding...<33333 UGH THE BEST.  11/21/08

american psycho.

So, I was right.  It hasn't been a month since I last posted, but it has been a hell of a long time.  Which is odd, cause I usually post like every other day.  I've just been in a daze I guess, and I apologize.  Like I'm apologizing to anyone anyway...no one really reads this except for maybe like three people, and I don't even know how often they do read it, so I'm basically just talking to myself.  But I do like getting things out.  That's the main point of a blog right?  It's used for venting/ranting purposes...that's how I use it.  But then again, I really don't know where I'm going with this anyway, so I'll just get right on to the blogging portion of my post.

So last Monday, I went into work and at the end [[6 o'clock]] my boss pulls me into the office, which she never does because I do a damn good job there, and tells me that the news she has "makes things sad but I wasn't in trouble."  So right then, I knew where it was going, and surely enough, I was right.  I got let go because she needed someone who could get there earlier [[at 2 and i could only get there at 3:30 cause i have school, obviously]] and who could work 5 days a week [[I couldn't because I have classes on Thursday and Friday nights]].  So that kinda sucked, gotta say.  And then she tells me that she has dates for me to come in a substitute.  I was pretty pissed that she tells me this AFTER she lets me go, but whatever, I still took it.  Why not get some extra money?

So that was that.  Now I'm job-hunting so I can earn money for the rest of the year and not feel like a total waste.  OH and I found out a while ago [[I totally forgot to say this in an older post, but that's fine]] that Twilight is coming out EVEN EARLIER.  It's now due to premier in theaters on November 21st!  GAHHH I'm so stoked, it's not even funny and I am SOOOO going to the midnight showing...I don't have a care in the world that it's a Friday morning at 12:00 A.M.  I'm going and that's final.  I even found all this Twilight merch at Hot Topic and YES I bought most of it...XD  I'm pathetic and this is an EXTREMELY unhealthy obsession, I know, but I seriously can't help it.  It's like a drug addiction.

I also bought all these new book, which I have yet to read since they're all so thick.  But it should keep me pretty busy for the time being, what with school and occasionally subbing at the nursery school.  And I cleaned my entire room today so I feel pretty proud of myself.  I have to say, it does sound weird, but it feels nice walking into a nice clean, organized room.  And then I went to Isabel's house with Nicole and Lucas and we watched American Psycho and even though the movie is totally insane, it was the most hilarious thing to watch for 2 hours.  It was just so ridiculously dark that it made it so funny.  And I know that's horrible to say, but it's true.  For those of you who don't have a clue what I'm talking about, American Psycho is a book made into a movie starring Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman and he's basically this wealthy stiff business man who goes completely insane and morphs into this deranged murderer and nobody knows it.  Yeah, it's definitely a little odd but oh my god, it was the funniest thing I've even seen.  I just pictured him as Batman the entire time and that probably contributed to what made it so weird.

I've been feeling so detached from my best friend for so long and whenever I try to make plans with her, something always comes up, or she's busy, or whatever.  So nothing happens and I just feel that whole distancing thing getting bigger and bigger by the second that we don't hang out and talk or anything.  It's really not good because it's like, well I don't feel like I'm losing my best friend, but sort of a feeling of like losing what I knew.  She's completely changed and it's just really weird.  She's not the same person I used to stay up at night on the phone with or hang out in her room, talking about pointless shit.  I don't know, a lot of things are changing.

I've also been feeling weird around Christine.  She never really talks to me that much anymore and I don't know why.  And Brandi never gets back to me like 99% of the time that I try to talk to her about anything.  It feels really distancing and I don't like it.  I always loved talking to them and now it's like we're all cutting each other off for some stupid reason.  I just want things back to the way they were.  College is definitely changing them.  Not so much Christine because I see her all the time, but Brandi, god yes.  She never returns my text messages or gets back to me on facebook if like days later or anything.  I don't know what that girl's up to.  But I'm gonna try and let it not bother me that much.  But I just wanna let you know, if by any chance either of you are reading this right now, can we please talk?  There's so much I wanna tell both of you and it's like I never get the chance to.  And I'd like that.  You guys were like the best ones in my life that I could always talk to about anything and now it's like that's fading, and I don't want that to go away.  Not yet; not now.

wow this isn't me.

So I haven't posted in forevers. I really don't know why. It's not like I haven't "had the time" or anything...I just haven't. But anyways school started. Sophomore year. And it's already starting to quicken up at the pace...weird. And classes at MDI start tomorrow night for me. Wow, it's been 7 years for me. That's insane. And I'm so happy about it. And work started for the year. Ugh I'm already getting sick of my boss, I swear. She's been getting on basically everyone's nerves all the time, it's sort of ridiculous. But enough about that...the kids I teach are just to cutest things ever. They're a new group who aren't even 1 year yet. I'll get pictures soon, you can be sure of that. But they're just so good and they don't talk, which is a plus haha. And I can definitely say that I'm already so attached to them after only 3 months. They can barely talk yet too so I kind of just carry on regular conversations with them AS IF they knew what I was saying...oh well. I've kind of been feeling a little weird lately. Ever since the end of August...specifically after the 4-year mark passed. I've just been finding myself thinking about nothing BUT it and getting depressed on the spot sometimes. It's not uncommon for someone like me and I think all I could really use, and need, is just someone to sit down and talk with. Well, I'll post later...and no, it won't be a month from now. Promise.

what else is new?

I'll tell you...NOTHING. I have been so bored these past few days, nothing has really been going on; AND it's only about the last few weeks of summer left before school rolls around again and my friends leave for school...which will suck. This has probably been the fastest summer ever that I've experienced. And for what? Not very much. Yeah, i read a couple good book, had some good days and nights with my friends and such, but nothing has really happened out of the ordinary.

I really wasn't expecting much to happen, but you can always hope or think in that direction of paths, right? I will be going to Six Flags with Sophie and Rebecca soon, so I'm actually really excited for that. And then my annual camping trip in New York State with my family and HOPEFULLY maybe one of these days, doing something with Brandi and/or Christine before they have to leave for school...we haven't done anything ALL summer and that kinda makes me upset. But whatevers...I really don't know if it will eventually happen or not [[probably not "/]]. I know that Christine's going away for the last week of August, so there goes that...

And fuck...the 21st is rolling around way to fast for me to accept it. I hate that. I don't want to be reminded of things that I don't like thinking about. I hope someone worth spending the day with that day will be around...although I will be at the studio, practicing, from 5-9 and I'll have work before that, but still...couldn't hurt.

oh and another thing...

Best Ever <3
12.12.08 =D

YUSSSS.

HA So I finished my book and it was just the most incredible, best, amazing ending that I could ask for EVER. Stephanie Meyer is brilliance and the Twilight Saga are the best books I have ever read and my favorite. I am definitely now anticipating Twilight THE MOVIE coming out on Friday, December 12 of this year and it will be THE BEST EVER. It will kill the 6th new Harry Potter movie in the box office ratings for sureeeee. So...now what do I do?

I went with my dad and Rebecca this morning to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminals to pick up Sophie and her parents. They were coming back from their 3 week vacation in Europe and took a cruise back on the Queen Mary 2. It was so nice to see her and the car ride home with the three of us in the back seat was THE BEST. Hahahah <3

So tonight I have dance for an hour with Brianna and the other seniors. I don't know what we're doing but Brianna said we might be learning Too Darn Hot. I really hope so. Ever since I saw the seniors do that dance 3 years ago, I've ALWAYS been wanting to learn it. I think it's kind of like a secret obsession. YAY =D

"No, you don't know. I just want to feel good and happy and alive. Because if I feel alive, then it doesn't seem like she's dead."